Take the Elevator
This podcast is purely about elevating people through individual life stories and experiences in the Elevator. In the Elevator, what's key is maybe changing your perspective; having self-actualization; embracing your purpose; and acting on it as we grow from one another. There is a whole different point of view when you look up to elevate.
Take the Elevator
374th Floor: Peace or Control - The Difference that Sets You Free
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I'll finally be at peace once everything settles down"? That elusive "someday" keeps us trapped in a cycle of postponing our peace while trying to control every outcome.
Kory and Gen share how control is typically rooted in fear, while peace emerges from faith and trust. When we cling to controlling outcomes, we often create more chaos for ourselves and others. But when we surrender to what we cannot change, peace arrives more quickly than we might imagine.
Whether you're facing uncertainty, navigating relationships, or simply feeling overwhelmed by life's unpredictability, this episode offers practical wisdom for finding calm in chaos. Join Gen and Kory as they invite you to ask: "What's one area of my life where I can practice surrender and stillness right now?" The answer might lead you to the peace you've been seeking all along.
Look up, and let's elevate!
Hey, it's Jen the Builder and Corey, and hello everyone. It is our birthday month and we have been packed with a bunch of birthday shenanigans man, oh man, have we been.
Speaker 2:And I don't even want to say partying, because most people think partying means you're out there dancing, drinking and doing all kind of lascivious type activity, and that's not what I mean by partying. But we've been on the go, we've been celebrating one another.
Speaker 1:I'm on the 28th, jen's on the 30th so, and our anniversary is on the 12th, so we've just been having good time after good time, after good time yeah, and speaking of good time, we're gonna have one today and, corey, you're just so good about making sure we fit everything in that we're supposed to be doing, so you're like do you want to record before everything begins?
Speaker 1:I'm like sure and that's actually really good practice, especially for me, because if I have something to do towards the end of the day it kind of I don't want to say puts a damper, but it's always in my mind.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Like, oh God, I just love to do this. So I just love getting things done with. So if you have a day planned for enjoyment, you can truly enjoy the day.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And, jen, I kind of thought of that as we're planning our day of festivities, we're going to have some people over and they're going to come to celebrate the fact that we had to be like a surprise for me. Well, it kind of is. I mean, you don't know all that's in, that's entailed. It's going to happen anyway. I got a couple of announcements. If that's all right.
Speaker 1:Go for it.
Speaker 2:Nice. So, if you haven't noticed, we have been growing. The podcast is growing. The YouTube channel for have been growing. The podcast is growing. The YouTube channel for the Fuzzy Furry Forest is growing. Our social medias are growing not by leaps and bounds, but everything is slowly starting to pick up pace, and that's intentional, so we just want to share this with you guys.
Speaker 2:If you're looking for an opportunity to win a free Ruffles plushie it's a one of a kind. You will not find them out there anymore. This is one of the last ones that we're going to be giving away, and the way you do that is to subscribe to the YouTube channel and comment on any video that you would like to, and then you will be entered. That you would like to, and then you will be entered, and on October 1st we will be announcing the winner of that free plushie. Also, the Genco Sound Company has been partnering with many different people, but one in particular was Dr Jessica Miller. If you would like one of her books for free, we are just asking that you get in contact with us, and we're going to be giving at least five books away, and we want to share that with you guys as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, awesome, have we posted her video on our YouTube yet?
Speaker 2:Not yet.
Speaker 1:That's going to be good.
Speaker 2:Yes, it will be.
Speaker 1:And that's all I'm going to say. It that's gonna be good, yes, it will be, and that's all I'm gonna say. It's gonna be good, all right. So for today's episode to end august and say hello to september, core, you sent me this amazing quote, more like a belief that you stand firm on yes um, and I am in agreement. So it says if your peace depends on everything going right, it's not peace, it's control.
Speaker 2:Aye, aye, aye.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So it's like have you all ever told yourselves I'll be at peace once everything finally settles down?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So the truth is is what Peace isn't found in everything going perfectly.
Speaker 2:No, absolutely not, and it's not found in and under your control. It's almost impossible to have peace when someone's controlling it. You're probably invoking chaos in someone else's life and stress, and stress if you're controlling it. What I've realized is trying to control situations. I've tried to control kids, family, marriage, friends, and what always happens is it gets worse and worse and worse. And I've learned to lean into what real peace is and I'm sure we're going to get to that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it sounds like where we're going. Is that peace isn't found again in everything going perfectly or in as planned, but it's how we hold ourselves when life isn't perfect or when things don't go according to plan, right? So, corey, how would you define peace?
Speaker 2:Peace to me is a sense of calm in any scenario, in any situation. It's that safe place that you can go to emotionally, spiritually, even financially, because we know that there is some chaos that happens financially and you just have to resolve that. There is nothing I can do about this right now and I need to settle in my peace so that I can move forward. And so, yes, financially, even romantically, as far as being in a relationship. You have to find that place within yourself first before you can have that within the relationship between two people.
Speaker 1:Right. So I would describe it as like an inner steadiness, right, and a lot of our peace comes from our faith and that's what it's rooted in. So one of the stories that I think of, when things felt very chaotic but there was still a peace there, and it's so hard to explain in just words because it's such a feeling, such an emotion that we went through. So we've shared before our stories of when we were younger and cory um, this is a surprise to you that I'm bringing it up, but I really want to share this story, okay, and I think you might have touched on it or went deeper than just touched on it a couple episodes ago, but I remember when we were going through our own addictions yeah and this may sound so weird, but I'll just share it.
Speaker 1:for me, when I knew that there were addictions I had to let go of and I would think about it literally while doing it, and in the midst of all that chaos and being controlled literally by a substance, there was a peace where I knew that this was not going to be for the rest of my life and that it was actually going to end soon. I just didn't know when, but I could just feel that that readiness for it, you know, and there was a calm like this is not my life, right, this is what it is in this moment. You know what I mean. Oh yeah, and so those are two very different feelings. Different like being in hopelessness but yet feeling hope and having the faith that I was going to be able to walk from it.
Speaker 2:Right. So there's two things for me that resonate with what you said and it's going to sound like I'm disagreeing, but I'm actually agreeing with you. So, yes, faith, but I'm actually agreeing with you. So, yes, faith. However, it's the trust that I know who you are at your core that allows me to have peace about certain things, and that exists with other people as well, because when you know someone, now I get it.
Speaker 2:Everyone is unpredictable.
Speaker 2:At some point in time you may ask for apple pie instead of chocolate cake, but there's never going to be that moment where it's so outlandish that you're like, oh my goodness, I just did not see this coming.
Speaker 2:You know, that's a little bit of peace that I have in you and our relationship and our children, now that they're adults and they've shown us patterns and they've proven who they are as individuals. Second thing is, I understand something about what you were saying as far as the addiction and the way I paint that picture is being in a raging sea with 30 feet waves just toppling on top of you and you're lost in the emotion of chaos, and when you have that moment of clarity, meaning you see far enough into the storm that there's light, there's blue sky and if you leave right then right now, you can get out of this addiction and you can probably turn the tide of what's going on for you. And so that's my sense of peace is when I see any kind of silver lining or any kind of blue sky and the chaos, I'm always reaching for that, running for that, swimming for that. However you want to paint that picture, that's what I'm trying to achieve at that moment.
Speaker 1:What a beautiful analogy, truly. What a beautiful analogy. Truly, because that reminds me of being in that chaos, in the storm, If we go opposite of what peace is. That's control. Right, and control is typically rooted in fear. Right, Because, look, I've got to control this. Everything's not going as planned.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And it really is an illusion. I feel that you can manage every outcome. I think there's a sense of control, as in how you react, but to your point, that's having peace and faith in who you are. And, again, your steadfastness, right, right, like going through it. Um, it reminds me cory and you can help me because, um, I think in this, this kind of stuff, you've done your research more. I'm reminded of the story when yeshua was in a storm and he walked on water right, calm the sea for Peter. Later I always thought that was the ocean. Based on how that story went when I was a younger child, I thought oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:It was like being on the Pacific Ocean and like this massive storm comes right. Then I hear later that indeed it was actually a lake somewhere, that typically a storm doesn't exist on that water. Usually, when winds blow, the lake stays steady. Yeah, is that right.
Speaker 2:Somewhat, and you kind of mixed two stories.
Speaker 2:But, I'll let the listener figure that part out. I don't want to go into a whole Bible story about that. But absolutely Also, jen, I think it's key to point out that when you're looking for this peace or when you're trying to avoid controlling what's happening around you, just know this that the more you you surrender, the quicker the peace comes. Opposed to the fight, the, the continuous trying to. Uh, I'm reminded of a movie, uh, I am legend with will smith. And when the outbreak is happening, he says I'm not gonna let this happen. And the outbreak is happening, he says I'm not going to let this happen.
Speaker 2:And the thing is is that you can't stop it from happening. Life is going to happen no matter what. And if it's a chaotic moment, this is so far out of humans' hands and human reach. It's unbelievable. So I just have grown accustomed to stop trying to control every detail of life. Now there are things that we can control and we're very much aware of that. I can control my anger. I can control how much I love you. Sometimes I can't. I feel like, oh my God, I just love this woman to death. But I also know that I can't minimize my love for you because I'm angry, right then I need to turn it up, but these are all within my control. That I can, you know, have the ability to navigate, but then there are those things that we just cannot.
Speaker 1:So I stop trying Like change right, so like surrender shows up for me, me like letting go of things that you cannot change yeah and it's, you know, crazy because turning 52 yeah, that's how old I am.
Speaker 1:Now cory's 53, we're a year apart hey, I didn't want to tell him I'm 25 I just did like this thing where I turned 52 in the year 2025, and I had a lot of pensive moments. I had a lot of alone time, actually on my birthday, funny enough, and it seemed like I was busy, but when I'm in that space, I'm thinking of other things as.
Speaker 1:I'm going. So I was just thinking what have I learned, like what has been reciprocated or what kind of things based on how I've acted and behaved, have now come back to me like full circle at 52, in the year 2025? Because, see, there's that mirroring thing that I just kept playing with and what I'm reminded of is that there were things that were so uncertain in our lives from Corey, when we that I have that big, drastic change in career because of the big layoffs, and I pursued an education, something, and it led to other things.
Speaker 1:And here's what I'm convinced of and this is what brings me peace is that it's been in the moments of uncertainty and just where you feel like, wow, where is this going, that it actually leads you to where you're supposed to be right you know, I mean like, oh, that if that didn't happen I wouldn't be here today, or if that didn't happen I wouldn't be who I am today, right, and so, reflecting on things like that, I think, invite peace, because you realize I wasn't in control of that and, look it, I ended up more than okay.
Speaker 2:Right, and I just want to clarify because I don't want people to think Jen said something about layoffs and so is she laid off or did she get laid off? No, this was a while back, 2008. Yeah, so I like to make sure that everyone's on the same page, so that's why I turned it as quick as possible. There's one more thing, jen, that I experienced in 52 and then turning 53. I felt my age for the first time, and I don't mean I felt like I was 52.
Speaker 2:I felt things in my body were changing. I felt and I have no control over it, you know, I'm waking up and I'm like, oh my goodness, my back really hurts, and I've never had that achy back feeling. I remember going to bed a few nights and saying I'm really tired, like I'm exhausted, and so, again, these aren't feelings that I've normally had. I hadn't changed my diet too much anyway, and I hadn't changed lifestyle too much, and so I could try to control it and figure out what's wrong, or I could lean into it and say Corey, you know what? You're getting older. You haven't experienced this before. It's nothing major, so let's just get a better grip on what your body is doing, opposed to trying to control everything.
Speaker 1:Right, right. So I love that there's a shift from control to peace. So control might sound like my body's changing and I'm going to prevent that from happening because aging's not going to happen here.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to get older.
Speaker 1:Everything's got to go right.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I think that's like the typical quote for control and the shift in perspective is I can handle whatever comes. See, even when you say that there's a piece like control is so intense. In fact, peace to me is more resilient than control, right, because you're bouncing back from whatever it is that's happening in your life. I think, too, that finding peace is in the now rather than in the when, like. For me it's not a question of when am I going to find peace Like. I just welcome finding peace now.
Speaker 1:I don't think this is something to really plan for. You can't create a task list on how to find peace.
Speaker 2:And, at the end of the day, what it boils down to is that we're going to figure it out. We may not have all the answers right now, we may not be able to wrap our heads around it, but we're going to figure it out because that's what life requires is for us to figure it out. And there was a rule that you gave me some years ago, and I always remember this rule because you said if you can fix it in six seconds, do it. Or change it or get it done in six seconds, do it. If it's going to take you six months, then you might want to.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's six minutes.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, can you give us the actual?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So if you're thinking about something and it's going to take you less than six minutes, then you know, stay there, think about it, don't just let that fly by. I've actually changed it. If you do something in two minutes or less, just do it, don't pile that up. And then you can also ask yourself is this going to matter in six months? And then you can also ask yourself is this going to matter in six months? If it's not going to matter in six months, like, don't waste more than six minutes on it, yeah Right. There's different ways to play with that. I really like that one. Like, if this isn't going to matter in six months, I'm not going to waste more than six minutes on this.
Speaker 2:So let me tell you something that brought me so much peace. Tell you something that brought me so much peace like understanding that concept and and applying it to my life. It just made me have a lot more understanding of where I was really going with things, you know yeah, yeah, um.
Speaker 1:I think we've said this a few times too. Cory, as I'm listening to you and I remembered my story that I shared in the beginning of quitting um, the addiction.
Speaker 1:You did not try to exercise control on me I will say it is tough to watch someone that you love go through something it is and what we want to do typically is to control it out of your love for that person and it really, I feel, is out of fear of what's going to happen to that person. Should they not change? Should they not do something different? Right, I didn't feel that from you when you said silver lining and seeing the blue clouds behind all of the gray and gloom and doom, right, I really felt that with you I didn't feel judged. I felt like, like you said, I'm going to amp up the love because this is when it really matters.
Speaker 2:That's when it really counts, and I have this philosophy. It's not rooted in Corey, it's another perspective. Actually. I believe in miracles and I believe that miracles happen all the time, all around us, every day. We sometimes don't see him and sometimes we do, but if at the end of the miracle I'm tired, then I perform the miracle.
Speaker 1:Which is a control thing, which is a control thing all over again.
Speaker 2:So I'm looking for the miracle to be done without my hands being involved.
Speaker 1:Love that. I love that so much.
Speaker 2:So Right now, in later, but or maybe it won't happen at all. But it's a constant tug of war, a constant teeter totter to find all those perfect ingredients stars aligning, planets aligning. And I say that because you know we want what we want. But again, if we always get what we want, then it's us controlling it and it never gets us where we really want to go. Tell me one time in your life when everything went exactly like you wanted it to go and you were happy. And that part's the hard part, because we think if it goes exactly the way I want it, I'll be all right, right, but that's not. That's not the case that's a good.
Speaker 1:I'm really pondering on that question, because there have been times in my life where I thought everything is good. Now, there, that's the word is good yeah not perfect but good, and when you recognize what's good, you're not focused and honed in on what isn't quite right right right, you just know that.
Speaker 1:Okay, I acknowledge that, but that's not going to be my focus. Like, my savings account isn't as big as I want it to be, but man, there's so much good there because, guess what, in a couple weeks I can make a deposit, hopefully, right. So what's good is that? Um, we, we've got income. What's good is that? Right now, cory and I are healthy enough to walk 20 000 steps at disneyland.
Speaker 2:Uh, maybe suffer a little for it the next day, and we did, and are yeah, man, but let's talk about that real quick before we get out of here. How'd you enjoy disneyland?
Speaker 1:okay, I'm just gonna be forthright. I enjoy it when it's not hot, like I've asked cory. Hey, can we just go in the morning craze like, yeah, let's do it and our, we plan here we go for the full four hours, but it's been so hot lately I think we're like averaging two and a half three hours maybe, and then we go at night. Um, for those who don't know, yes, cory and I are disney adults and we're quite all right with that. I think it helps us just unwind, even though it's hot in a lot of people, and it keeps us connected, of course, to play and all things like imagination right, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:How's it going for you at Disney during the summer? Well?
Speaker 2:I think last night was a lot better for me, because what we were able to do is and see, I can handle heat, I can handle direct sunlight. That's what really messes me up is when I gotta deal with that intense burning heat coming on my skin. But what if the sun goes down, as it did last night, and we went into some of the rides and saw some of the attractions? And there's there's some new parades and new uh firework shows that are happening.
Speaker 2:That we've got other shows yeah, we gotta go back and check that out. Hey, and if you guys are out there hearing this, just know this we're just kids. We're we're adult kids that we grew up and we took on responsibility, but we never lost that inner child that can enjoy themselves and have fun.
Speaker 1:Totally so. It's funny, cause you mentioned Disney. I have to share this with you Two thoughts. Number one is later Remind me of kids that go. I decided to go to Disney Super cute, you know that kind of way where you wear the hat I decided silly, silly decision to break in a brand new pair of shoes. Omg, was I in pain. Don't do it. It was so bad, never, ever. So here are my tips for disney do not break in new shoes on a disney day. And if it's hot, why did I even bother curling my hair, looking all cute wearing a bucket hat and within 30 minutes of walking intensely trying to get to wherever it was we were going to, just loads of sweat under that hat, was not feeling it at all, but, um, we made the best of it, yeah, we did the best we really did and oh, go ahead oh, no go ahead.
Speaker 2:Um, if I think you're gonna say what I what I believe you're gonna say, uh, I'm gonna jump in on it first, because what's funny to me is like we left the house at 7.30, 8 o'clock at night to go to Disneyland and when we get there, there are kids that are just getting there or have been there all day long, and kids will let you know when they've tapped out, and so you just hear this kid in the background, like I'm like, oh, he's tapped out Time. To just hear this kid in the background, like I'm like, oh, he's tapped out time to go.
Speaker 2:Time to go but mom and dad are still trying to push.
Speaker 1:Just one more ride, just one more ride, and I have to say, cory, that really stuck out to me as we're celebrating our birthday like we're young 50 year olds and what I mean by that is we started young, right, so our kids are grown, we don't have grandkids and I'm really enjoying just being able to control how we spend our time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's that word control, and with that also is knowing that things can change yeah you know you make these plans and I'm still at peace with the fact like, oh, that didn't work quite out the way, quite the way we wanted it to, but hey, we still had a good time. Um, I was reminded, corey, and I want to put this out there cause I think this would be so great and I am totally speaking out of turn, I have not checked this with Corey, I am totally speaking out of turn. I have not checked this with Corey, but I have been thinking about how blessed we are for being able to go and I see the kids and you can tell when kids grow up in Disneyland. Yeah, you can tell they're very comfortable there. Mom's putting them in their Disney princess outfits, with the glitter they get their hair done at Disney. It's like a whole experience.
Speaker 1:And one year we were able to gift a Disney trip through the partnership of my cousin and her husband. They had a skateboarding shop in Upland that's no longer there, but they were so gracious enough to donate Disneyland tickets. So, on behalf of Genco Soundco, we'd love to do that, uh, for a kid, um, this December, and obviously with parents and stuff. So I don't know what that family package is going to look like Uh, but we would love to give that. So if you know of anyone who has not been to Disneyland, I'm going to put this out right now and we're going to let it grow Is, please get that information to us and we'll figure it out later. But just know that we're going to give a family package for a one day. Oh, three with three.
Speaker 2:Well, it'd be a one day trip, but for three, three tickets, yeah, three. Well, it'll be a one-day trip, but for three tickets.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 2:Because I mean, you don't want a kid to have a ticket and the parents don't.
Speaker 1:Fine, but what if they have siblings? See, this is where I go.
Speaker 2:Well, they'll have to buy at least the siblings ticket.
Speaker 1:Fine fine, fine, and Disneyland during the holidays, for me, is just the best yeah, because I get to wear layered clothing yes and not sweat it out. So much I I know we went on a rant about disney, but I think we're just still on the high of our birthday, our birthday month.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean oh yeah, absolutely, and we were given to very freely, so we want to be able to give as well yes, absolutely so.
Speaker 1:Um, that's what I want to leave with you today is just some take with you questions. So this week, when things don't go as planned, ask yourself will I reach for control, or choose peace, right, or another good question, a good, strong, coaching question? So what's one area of my life where I can practice surrender and stillness right now?
Speaker 2:I like that, like it a lot yeah.
Speaker 1:So let me repeat that question. It's what's one area of my life where I can practice surrender and stillness right now, and cory and I will be on this journey with you and um. We'll give an update at the next episode of what, what we've done, um, and then I think this is important too like in the episode cory, today I mentioned what a rock you were for me during a time of just chaos is who or what reminds me of peace, and how can I invite more of that or more of that person into my daily routine? So if there's something that you've done in the past that has brought you peace and you've just kind of fell off, invite it back, right.
Speaker 2:And tell it you are welcome here.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, Absolutely Anything else you want to add to this beautifully done episode. Corey, thanks for sharing that quote with us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it was a appropriate quote and appropriate topic to have a conversation about. No, I'm good.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. Well, we hope that you're enjoying your Labor Day Monday. I think that's a total American thing. If you're listening to us and you're our friends in Europe and Asia, australia and the Philippines, that's where a lot of our listeners are tuning in right now. Thanks for being here with us. We really appreciate you, yep, and you know us to take the elevator. We say look up and let's elevate Every day, elevate, every day, elevate, every day, elevate, every day, elevate.
