Take the Elevator
This podcast is purely about elevating people through individual life stories and experiences in the Elevator. In the Elevator, what's key is maybe changing your perspective; having self-actualization; embracing your purpose; and acting on it as we grow from one another. There is a whole different point of view when you look up to elevate.
Take the Elevator
367th Floor: The Question We Never Ask: What's It Like On The Other Side Of Me?
"What's it like to be on the other side of me?"
This simple yet profound question has the power to transform your relationships, leadership effectiveness, and personal growth—if you're brave enough to ask it and humble enough to hear the answers.
In this deeply reflective conversation, Gen and Kory explore how the strengths we cherish about ourselves can come across to others in a completely different light.
Through vulnerable personal stories, they demonstrate how blind spots don't make us weaker; they make us human.
Whether you're leading a team, building relationships, or simply wanting to understand yourself better, this episode offers practical ways to bridge the gap between your intentions and your impact.
Accept our three-part challenge noted at the end of this episode - Your growth—and your relationships—depend on it.
Look up, and let's elevate!
Hey, hey, it's Jen the Builder and Corey, and welcome everyone to take the elevator.
Speaker 2:Yes, welcome in and make yourselves at home and make yourselves feel comfortable. I hope that you're in a nice, cool place. We've been having some hot weather lately so I really wanted to invite people into a comfortable, cool space absolutely, as it is the beginning of july.
Speaker 1:by the way, this comes out on 7-7. I love the double digits and I don't really know that my brother listens to the podcast, but it's my brother's birthday. Yeah, sevens are all over his birthday, so happy birthday to you. Well, we've got before we get started and I promise it's going to be a really good topic. So, relevant to you, to me, to Corey and just everyone in general, I wanted to give some quick announcements because I'm super excited. Fuzzyfurryforestcom is our website and we just updated our bios.
Speaker 2:Indeed.
Speaker 1:And, corey, you've done such a beautiful job with that website I can't. I mean, if you have not been there, you really need to go. It is so darn cute and I'm engaged and it's my own website. Yeah, along with that, we had a mishap on amazon with um some books. So kelly kinga was on amazon and we had to reformat and it was showing up as separate from the other three books, right, cory, because you forgot the l in your name is that right?
Speaker 1:yeah, that's true and it was, but now it's back online, yeah, and then we're working with someone, a good friend of ours, who's reformatting sheriff slinky snake, because there was. I think that was the first book you and I formatted by ourselves. Yeah, and it was. I'm just gonna say it was a little bit of a mess and that's what happens when?
Speaker 1:it's your first time doing something so intense, and so that's going to be cleaned up. So we'll make sure to announce when all four books are ready to go, and we're just so excited about the uniformity and how clean it's gonna look. And again, you can get these books on amazon. I think the easier way to do it is look up cory k-o-r-y l is the initial and then body b-o-d-y, and you'll see all four enjoy. Yeah, please do. Um, I don't know that there's anything else that we want to share with our friends.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm not going to miss this opportunity to acknowledge the insane and crazy fireworks that we had to endure. And it was a hot mess where we live. So to everyone that survived that war zone, man hats off.
Speaker 1:Our house was literally rattling. It was so intense with illegal fireworks and what we observed because Corey and I, you know we're just chilling when we live, there's a firework show all around us, so we don't spend our money to just literally see it burn to the ground or burn up to the sky, so we enjoy everyone else burning their money. And, um, we saw people coming from different neighborhoods and parking on our street and just with their backpacks and finding a location where they were gonna let loose, and that's exactly what they did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, I was actually scared and had to run back in she really did, I really did I looked at you, cory, like okay, I'm not trying to be out here and one of these misfires just land on my head I and I had to say that there was a couple of close calls that I thought.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it should have ignited quite like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's go in and go inside. Yes, I'm so grateful nothing burned down in the area. I didn't hear about any major accidents, but, speaking of which, I do want to express how much our hearts and prayers go out to people in Texas and just that flood that happened over the weekend. So sending positive thoughts, for sure, absolutely All right. So what are we talking about today? This is one of those questions, I think, corey, that's going to make people pause, I hope, and a question that's going to hit different. So here it is pause, I hope, and a question that's going to hit different.
Speaker 2:So here it is. What's it like to be on the other side of me? That's a deep one, so let me start here, jen. What does it mean when someone sees the other side of you or experiences the other side of you? That question is, um, one of those that we always have to pose, not only to ourselves, but but to other people, and and you need an honest answer in order to be able to navigate those waters such a good point.
Speaker 1:I don't think this is a question we really reflect on right or ask others. Um, I think if you're bold enough to ask it, at the same time you've got to be humble enough to sit with the answers, because I think, if you really do, it can absolutely be a game changer. I like to call them blind spots, corey. Yeah, you know where we don't see it. We are acting with the best of intentions, but that impact, boy, is a total surprise when people start to share how they're experiencing you on the other side.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like if they say something like you were kind of intense in the meeting earlier. That's not something you typically want to hear, or is it?
Speaker 1:Well, usually when people say you were pretty intense, I don't think that's typically a good vibe. And now if they say, oh, that was exciting, that was great, I was hyped, right, that's different. But when someone says you're a little intense even the facial expression I can imagine what that's like. Because, Corey, I love that, because every interaction we have leaves an emotional footprint, right, so I can be passionate. That's what I like to say. When people start to say, oh, that was pretty intense In my mind, I justify it by saying that's just passion.
Speaker 2:That's a love for what I do. You just missed my point. I was being passionate, but you know, jen, is a big start to um self-awareness, yeah, understanding how to read the room and what body language people are giving you, especially when they uh couple that with words like intense.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I love that you brought up self-awareness, because anyone who knows me knows that I am a geek over emotional intelligence and where we were doing some research earlier today and I didn't write it down, so this is off memory, okay, but in a work area I think it's like almost 60%.
Speaker 2:I remember that number. It's 58, to be exact.
Speaker 1:Okay, so 58%. So EQ accounts for 58% of job performance. And when you find your top 90% performers where you work, they have high EQ. Not probably, or they should. They do. They have high EQ. So emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness. So I think just asking that question what are people experiencing on the other side of me, what are people experiencing on the other side of me? It invites self-awareness.
Speaker 2:Right. Here's what that can kind of look like. Okay, your confidence can come across as arrogance. Did you want to touch that a little bit?
Speaker 1:Yes, I love that, because here's what we're saying Confidence is a strength that everyone should have, but it's when you use these strengths too much or they're overused, then it becomes something else right so yeah, it can come off as cocky and arrogant and that's why you've got to check yourself right. Regulate yourself. That's emotional intelligence. Is that regulation and managing you?
Speaker 2:right. Part two of that is your empathy.
Speaker 1:Can feel like over caretaking Ah so, corey, I think between you and I, you're more of an empath than I am. You think so oh yeah, okay yeah, I think you beautifully navigate through life with empathy in your relationships. That, and, if I'm going to be honest, if anyone's heard of strength finders like Clifton or Gallup, I took that assessment and there's 34 strengths that we have or that they've defined. Empathy's my last one. So it's not that it's a weakness, it's just one that I don't use as often. So, over caretaking, I see that in you because you're going to ask me the question how do you experience that on the other side of me? I think your empathy with me is very healthy. It's not over. In fact, you push me to be better and, you know, for resilience and things like that. I think there are certain people that you know require a lot of grace, and that's where I can see your empathy, maybe being like man that sure is super, uber, intensely gracious. You know what I mean. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I'm laughing because it sounds so true, it sounds so accurate and I want to acknowledge that before I move on, that I typically have the caretaking position just to make sure everyone's okay and that no one's feeling left out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:There's another attribute, and it could be that your attention to detail could be like micromanaging, right, how does that land?
Speaker 1:You notice the pause because they're like are you talking about me? You?
Speaker 2:notice how I eased into that?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I wasn't trying to just drop it like a bomb, but you know.
Speaker 1:Right, and I love how this is real-time feedback. So, yes, I have an extremely high attention to detail, and so are you telling me that on the other side of me, you've experienced it as micromanaging now I wouldn't use that word.
Speaker 2:Micromanagement is something that I just detest to the utmost. Um what, whatever? What I've experienced from you is you want things to be meticulous and I am meticulous, right yes, and especially when it comes to something that has your name on it.
Speaker 2:Um, there, there's this level of excellence that you ask for now. Does that come off as micromanaging for me? No, it just makes what it what. It's done for me, jen, and I'm just be really, really honest. It's made me pay attention to the details, whereas sometimes I may not be doing that, and so I'm like I need jen's eyes on this to get to the nitty gritty of what's going on.
Speaker 1:Well, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And it's interesting because you know they say what there's six sides to every story. So I love that. That's your experience with me. I wonder what five other people would say about my attention to detail. I can't account for those five. Well, and you know what? I have to make a confession right now, because if people who are listening to this follow me on linkedin, they're gonna be like she just made an error on her post. And yes, I did, and it bothered me. So my latest post is on an episode that we shared on hopefulness, and I thought it was really relevant to everything that's been happening, right? Is that what's happening, jen? Well, there's bills that have been passed.
Speaker 1:That's a big impact that we talked about, um what's happening in Texas and in other countries. You know those things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Um, so I brought that episode to light and I forgot to end the 365th episode with closing parentheses and I posted and there's already interaction and I wanted to go in and edit it. But on LinkedIn you can't edit the picture, you can only edit the text and I was like I'm just gonna let this go because you know we make mistakes and yeah, and that's where someone might say you're showing up intense because a lot of people would just give you grace on that and let it fly.
Speaker 1:And there's a few pocket people that would say, oh, she messed that up. Pride in the work that they do and they, you know, try to perform an excellence like oh man, they forgot the closing parentheses. That's not a good look. You see how that?
Speaker 2:works true. Let's, let's take advantage of an opportunity right here, right now yes please. We are going to be a business for the rest of our lives and we have to allow ourselves some grace. This is where my caretaking takes over.
Speaker 1:I love it See. Oh, I love that my husband has empathy.
Speaker 2:And so, yeah, we just have to get used to. We're going to miss some of the marks. We're not going to hit everything to perfection. I've seen the top notch companies and let's be really, really clear Can we just go as big as possible?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:There are defective and misprinted currency notes, dollar bills, $20 bills that are worth a lot of money. But even the highest of highest points of business and government make mistakes.
Speaker 1:Thank you, corey, that felt good. Good, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:That was my intent.
Speaker 1:That was amazing, see, and I love that because we have intention and the way you behave then had a positive impact. Because that's the next question, right, like when people walk away from an experience with me, how have I made them feel? What's the impact I've had on them?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And I don't know. I'll speak for myself. I don't think that way. On every interaction I try to. And when you have one interaction after another, after another, and then a meeting, and oh, and then there's this, that self-reflection moment kind of passes you by, and that's why I'm a big advocate of self-reflection at the end of your day.
Speaker 2:But anyhow, and I'm going to give one more just to take it to a whole nother level, which people are probably going to be like really, um, I've, I've seen ai make horrible mistakes yes and I could not figure out why it was making the mistake, that I told it in detail how to fix it. You know, even robots make mistakes here, here here, here, there's no perfection in other words, that's right.
Speaker 1:Well, the funny thing, speaking of ai, and we're digressing a little bit, but that's okay because, yeah, we're just talking about all the things. I try to use chat gpt today to do something really simple. I never use it for the creativity piece, it's more like please gather all the, take the elevator episodes, create a grid numbered title of the episode with two to three sentence of what the episode's about, and the reason for that is I'm trying to bring them back, you know, when it's relevant. Right, it couldn't do it and I was like, wow, so guess what? On the platform that we use for a podcast, there's already a tool there.
Speaker 2:And bam, there it was right there, right in front of your face. Yes, let's get to this last one, jen. Okay. Uh, decisiveness might come across as uh steamrolling oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:that's when people make the decision and just kind of plow over what you think, like it doesn't matter, this is what we're doing, and you just kind of feel like, yeah, I've, I've been flattened, deflated.
Speaker 2:I can see that and I've been in that position. But I've also been in the position where the leader of the particular event or activity has asked does anyone have a suggestion? And no one is saying anything. And there's always that one person and I typically know who that one person is, because I like to get to know who's in the room and what personality types they're waiting to be either be called on or so at the last minute that then they'll feel comfortable giving their answer.
Speaker 2:And if you have a person like me or yourself and I want to just be honest if you ask, are there any suggestions, we're just going to say what it is that we're going to suggest and try to get the ball moving. But the person that's waiting for that opportunity or waiting to be called on feels steamrolled because they're always waiting. And I have a word of advice to that person If you're listening, if you're waiting to be called on, you probably won't. And if you're waiting for till the last minute because you want to seem like you had time to think about it and come up with a great idea, you've already thought about it, you already have a great idea. Just put it out there.
Speaker 1:That's great, great advice, and I like that you said that last part because in my mind, I'm thinking well, if it's on the spot, problem solving, our friends who are thinkers and analyzers and need to ask more questions to come up with a decision might need more time than impromptu, and so I'm going to add a little note, leaders this is where we can go terribly wrong, where we don't exercise good change management skills and want to bring something up at the last minute instead of when we knew about it so we can gather the right info from the team. You know what I mean. Oh yeah, all right, man, I gotta share a story, sure, okay?
Speaker 1:that's what we're here for one of my strengths actually it's in my top five is communication, and so here's the blind spot that got shared with me today as a matter of fact.
Speaker 1:So communication by definition is I find it easy to put thoughts into words and I'm a great conversationalist and a presenter. That's how Gallup just defines it. So today I'm having lunch with you and our son, nathan, and I mentioned this transition in my life. That's huge. It's happening this month and apparently I mention this transition every time I talk to you all. And what did Nate say?
Speaker 2:I said how many times has mom talked about this?
Speaker 1:because he saw his face right.
Speaker 1:There must, there must have been an expression exactly, and he said many times, like a lot of times, like over and over and over and and I I guess I say it like I'm saying it for the first time, and so there's a blind spot I'm over communicating the same message. It's getting old, like my family's, very aware that this is a big transition and it's heavy on my mind. But and, if I may, I just love the level of respect because no one says oh my God, please stop, can you just stop talking?
Speaker 2:about this acknowledge it and just keep it moving that's great. Yeah, it is so, jen.
Speaker 2:I have a question yes and I'm going to be very vulnerable right here okay I have been told that I am a extreme fast driver and not in a car. When it comes to work, when it comes to projects, when it comes to getting things done, I'm told that I drive, drive, drive. And some people are not used to that type of pace and it wears some people out, and so I don't typically feel that way and I'm just being really honest. I feel like if there's no driver, this thing will just sit, and I'll give you some examples, just so we can be clear.
Speaker 2:I felt like if I didn't drive the EP to get done for the Shameless Band, we would have never got an EP. And I was a taskmaster master and I knew I was. But again, I just I had this, this desire to complete this, yeah, without the elongated delays, and the one of the delays and I'm going to wrap up here is that we were supposed to be finished a year before we actually finished, and that was driving me bananas. So can you give me some pointers, some tips, some tools to not be such a task master, master and a hard driver when I'm working on something?
Speaker 1:so, yes, ultimately yes, but I want to share some thoughts. Sure, um, I think you took on another, or put on another, hat because, like you said, you waited a year and that ep turned out to be super successful, right? Um, I think some questions to ask yourself is like okay, because I'm gonna be more transparent, because there was supposed to be a second ep and you had pulled back, relaxed a little bit because you didn't want to be that person that you were for the first ep, absolutely so Some reflective questions for me is what could you have done differently and still had the same successful outcome within the right time frame? We just mentioned?
Speaker 1:Communication is talking to the team about their strengths, the things that they want to be tasked, the things that really speak to them, right? This is what I call work love. And then you have the list of things that aren't going to be done, and who's going to pick that up? And it's just project managing, and so maybe, instead of getting all the tasks done and now becomes managing the project, right. So, and I I'm gonna say, because of how you perform, I think the team can really just pull back, because man cory's intense on his own, like he let him do it. You know what I mean, and so yes, I do yeah, and I think you do that really well.
Speaker 1:With you and I as a team, you really learn to capitalize on our strengths.
Speaker 2:We know what's your lane, we know it's mine, and then, when it gets blurred, we figure it out yeah, that's really, that's really um important when you talk about blurred lines, because the lines get blurred continuously when you're working to achieve a goal and everyone has their place and maybe one feels like, ok, we need to move this along a little bit faster. So I'm going to jump in this lane and blur the lines a little bit.
Speaker 1:So yeah, you know, we just had a conversation. Actually we were at a meeting over the weekend and one of the ladies that was there said you know, there's a difference between goals and purpose and you shouldn't get those confused. Like goals is different than purpose. And I chimed in and said confused Like goals is different than purpose. And I chimed in and said yes, that's correct. And how much more powerful is it to set your goals according to your purpose?
Speaker 2:And I think that's what you got to do with a team, and I love that. I love that You're so right. If your goals and purpose aren't in alignment and you're trying to do this thing, you create such a barrier and wall that you can never climb over or never get around, because your purpose and your goals don't see eye to eye.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, and so sometimes you might be working with the wrong team. I mean, at the end of the day, like if what you all are doing doesn't line up with their life purpose and values, man, they can stretch, I mean you can still hit some goals, but it's so different when it lines up with your purpose.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think you just really answered a few really important questions for me, answered a few really important questions for me and I really am digging deep in that because I mean it's it's tough to realize that I may be working with the wrong team, I may be in the wrong position to do this thing that I'm trying to complete. Yeah, yeah, thank you oh, thank you and thank you for all of you listening to this in real time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I love how EQ is the mirror and the bridge right, so it helps, like you just modeled, corey, it helps you see yourself and then cross over to understand others and then what needs to be done. So, throughout this episode, I love how we gave each other feedback and this was real-time stuff, and the thing is is when people give you feedback or they give you information that you need to pay attention to. That's what I like. That's how I like to translate feedback. This is something I need to pay attention to is not to get defensive, right and figure that piece out, because this is emotional regulation.
Speaker 1:And then you decide what part of that do you own? And I think that's a beautiful thing. And then imagine what now the answers will be is when you ask people what do you experience on the other side of me? And that it's a beautiful question because then you get to measure your growth and your impact when you're working with team. You know I led this first project and what did? What did you experience on the other side of me? And we don't ask that so important question. And so what happens? We go to the next project doing the same thing thinking that it's all right yeah.
Speaker 2:And it so was not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and if your team stays quiet, that might be something else. That's a whole nother topic, because you got to ask yourself am I creating a space for? Do they feel safe enough to tell me how they experienced me, or like nah?
Speaker 2:nah, I see this setup.
Speaker 1:I'm not about to answer here we go again, yeah. Yeah, one of the things I wanted to mention, corey, before we close out, is that having blind spots isn't a bad thing and it doesn't make you weaker, it just makes you human. Yeah, makes you human, it makes us aware that they're there.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that, although you've got these amazing intentions, the impact can be different. And again, be open to looking into the mirror and bridging that gap and apologizing when needed, because I've learned that too. That's something I've just learned. I've learned before, like before, when I was was younger, I'd apologize if it made sense to me. That was like the big, a big deal to me.
Speaker 2:Now, if I've harmed you or hurt you or I've made you question who you are, that wasn't the intention and for that I apologize yeah, I, I always think this, I never say it, so here here's one of the Cory L Body quotes that dance around in my mind continuously If you are an unapologetic leader, you're not leading, you're failing. That's real important to bite onto and think about.
Speaker 1:That is I'm going to think about that one that one can go deep. All right, so is it okay, gory, if I leave a personal challenge before we wrap up? Please do okay. So we want to leave you with a challenge this week, and it consists of three parts. Number one ask a person what's it like to be on the other side of me. Then the second second thing is identify strength that you have that you might be overusing. And then three is practice one element of EQ that we discussed today. Maybe it's pausing before reacting or noticing how others respond to your energy. Just practice that one element. Just practice that one element, because growth doesn't happen without awareness right and connection won't happen without reflection. Yeah, that's my quote, I think you. Yeah, anyhow, I love that this space was real time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too, and that's how we operate best anyway, so I'm all for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So just know everyone that we believe in you, we believe in your capacity to elevate not just yourself but every space you walk into. Until next time you know us to take the elevator, we say look up and let's elevate every day, elevate every day, every day, elevate Every day elevate Every day.
Speaker 2:Elevate Every day.
