Take the Elevator
This podcast is purely about elevating people through individual life stories and experiences in the Elevator. In the Elevator, what's key is maybe changing your perspective; having self-actualization; embracing your purpose; and acting on it as we grow from one another. There is a whole different point of view when you look up to elevate.
Take the Elevator
366th Floor: The Great Energy Exchange
Have you ever considered that your mental and emotional space is valuable real estate? That the energy others bring into your life should come with a price tag?
This week, we dive deep into the powerful dynamics of energy exchange between people - examining how we give, take, and sometimes need to protect ourselves from the various energy types that affect us daily.
Kory introduces his fascinating concept of "charging rent" for your mental space - asking what negative thoughts or people you're allowing to live in your mind without paying their dues. When someone consistently brings low or negative energy into your sphere, you have choices: maintain your higher energy until they either elevate to meet you or decide to leave, or create boundaries that protect your emotional wellbeing.
Perhaps most powerfully, we distinguish between happiness and joy - with Jen noting, "I choose joy over happy, because happy is very dependent on different things, whereas joyful you choose to be, no matter what." This perspective allows us to maintain positive energy regardless of external circumstances.
Join us for this illuminating exploration of how energy shapes our lives and relationships, and leave with practical strategies to protect your valuable mental space while still engaging authentically with the world around you.
Look up, and let's elevate!
Hi, it's Jen the Builder, and.
Speaker 2:Corey.
Speaker 1:And hello everyone. It's so good to be here with you today as we say farewell to yet again another month and we say hello to July.
Speaker 2:Indeed, did you get that button right? I think so. Nice, jen's trying to operate and podcast at the same time.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to engineer and co-host and do all these things at the same time.
Speaker 2:Nice, nice. I like it yes.
Speaker 1:So, yes, I hit the right button. That's good, that's good. So june I want to start with, because usually what we do here is we kind of think events, people, things that have happened in june, that have made it special one of my favorite moments in june that made it special for me is our dog's birthday penelope.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, penny's birthday and she was born on the same day that my mom was born on yes so that's a. She's not as old as my mom, but you know it's a. It's a nice day to celebrate my mom.
Speaker 1:But you know it's a. It's a nice day to celebrate multiple things. Yeah, we were saying penny's 13 years old she is. Kelly says she's 12.
Speaker 2:Okay she is which one I'm not sure. I mean I can't keep up with their age, my age and you know I'm gonna go with 12 I'm with that feels right, but anyways, yeah.
Speaker 1:So birthdays all throughout June. Actually we had pennies your moms, our son-in-laws and, of course, our sons.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Nathan is in the last of his 20s. My sister calls me from England and she says what does that feel like? You know your kid's in the last of his 20s. You know your kid's in the last of his 20s.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you it feels very good that we got three adults that were children at one point in time into adulthood, and they have done their own thing and they're being prosperous. It feels good, it feels great.
Speaker 1:It sure does. So one of the things that happened to me in June that I've not shared on Take the Elevator yet is something that happened over the week. So I am transitioning to a new position, new department, and I made that announcement to my team and to my department. And it's interesting, corey, because my nerves were shot.
Speaker 2:You know that. Yeah, I mean you're making this sound like it was an easy transition, but it was quite draining and pulling really was draining and we prepared for that that week.
Speaker 1:Right, cory? You are funny though, so I have to this story. So you can imagine. I've been with this team for almost a decade Now I'm talking about this department, my team specifically, about three years or so and we've built great relationships and we were a startup.
Speaker 1:So if you've ever done a startup, you know the hustle and the grind that happens. And you now have established yourself and I couldn't have done it alone, and they couldn't have done it alone Like we really needed each other to get it going. So there are a lot of memories and, of course, I'm sad. I don't know how to process this. You know, I'm like did I make the right decision? Am I ready for this? You have all these questions that just kind of bring up about doubt, right. Then there are moments where you're like yeah, this is what I want to do, this is good for me, this is a change I need. So it's just up and down, up and down. Well, one particular morning I was feeling a little down and I'm at my vanity and I realized that a lot of the things that happen in my mind for morning routine happens at my vanity. And what did I tell you where I said, oh, um, today is the day I tell my team is that what it was? Is that what that day was?
Speaker 1:last of something, last of a yes, it was the last time I was going to facilitate our at our emerging leaders program and my team didn't know that because I hadn't made the announcement yet, so I had to hold that together, right, and so I'm thinking about all these things and so I said it with like such a sad face. My tone is sad, clearly, the emotion is sad. Corey responds with yes, yes, good for you, yay, this is happening.
Speaker 2:And I'm looking at him like yeah, there's a disconnect here somewhere yeah no so I do those things on purpose, because I'm and it's very appropriate, because it's all about energy, and that's what this uh podcast is about today the different types and styles of energy that enter into your life, enter into your atmosphere, and so when jen was going through this downward spiral that I could tell I wanted to reverse that low energy and turn it into some high energy. Now, was that the best way to approach it? Probably not. I shouldn't stated a yes or a yay at that moment, but there is a way to turn that energy around so that it doesn't lie flat.
Speaker 1:Um, jen, let's just can I just say which I thought you really did well throughout that, throughout last week. Um, you were still very relevant to what I was going through, but you beautifully gave me the other side right like what's on the other side of you saying yes to this position, so it kept me grounded. Um, I was definitely in two places at the same time, so it wasn't like I was discounting my future, because you very much kept bringing it up. Yeah and it was good it was good speaking of positive and energy.
Speaker 2:That was good energy absolutely, and I think it's important to have that balance in your life, yeah, between the high energy, low, low energy or no energy, and so that's what I wanted to talk to you about, talk to the audience about how do you feel about a week of low energy?
Speaker 1:Well, I just had a week of low energy. Yeah, how do I feel about it. That's what I really want to dig deep into I am never the debbie downer, um, but I don't think I was necessarily bringing everyone down around me, but my energy was definitely different.
Speaker 2:My team really couldn't tell, though, because that was important for me, you know, just to maintain there's a difference, because sometimes you front face the low energy, sometimes you hold it within so that it's not seen and it's important for you to acknowledge that I'm living in this low energy space, but I can't show it right now.
Speaker 1:Right, right. So what that's like for me is, um, I don't like it, if I can just say that way. It's not my normal space to be in, but I've just learned that there are events and situations that um invite that, and before I used to like mind over matter. Oh, get over it, you know you'll get through this, and I think those are very valuable um, motivational quotes and sayings, but I think it's also important to experience the, the sadness or the grief, um, as you prepare for that somewhere in you.
Speaker 1:That's how it was for me, yeah, so I don't let it bring me completely down. I still stay grounded, um, but I definitely recognize like there's a reason why I'm feeling sad. This has to do with people and people that I've spent every day with, at least every day of the week with. That's, that's a big deal, yeah, and to act like, oh, no, worries, this is not a big, this is not a big deal, it it's just another transition. That would actually make me a little heartless and I'd be concerned if I didn't feel that, you know.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and I'm glad you recognize that, because a lot of people don't recognize that they spend more time at work than they do at home, and so when you're spending that kind of a time, you're going to build relationships, you're going to build friendships, you're going to build some enemies, because you just don't see eye to eye and both of you are going in different directions. But all those situations pose different energies that come your way, that exist in your space or in your mind. And are they living there with a charge or are they living there rent free? And that's always my question what am I allowing to live in my space or in my head?
Speaker 2:rent free, and if you're allowing low energy, no energy or a negative energy to live in your space for free, you might want to second think that yeah, I can see that.
Speaker 1:Um, man, that's a tough one to say. What are you charging? Because what goes on in my mind, cory, is there are people in my life that are pretty low energy, just as part of who they are, and I don't know necessarily what you mean by. What do you charge? What do you mean by that? What do you charge when people in your life have low energy?
Speaker 2:So, when and I'm not always a high energy person, but I'm a pretty level energy person. So when someone comes into my space and they're consistently low energy and I realize like hey, you're getting to stay in this space for free and I'm not cool with it because I can't handle this low energy. I need someone either on my level or above me so that I can sustain and maintain Gotcha, sustain and maintain gotcha. So the charge is is that you have to deal with my high energy either until you level up or you tap out.
Speaker 1:You're like I can't, I can't do it anymore so what I hear you saying is that you're not going to bring your energy down because that person's at a low, right right, and You're going to maintain your homeostasis.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I have to, and I'll give you even a better example being in a grocery store or a supermarket and you're asking for help, where can I find the brown rice?
Speaker 1:Or the watermelon with seeds. I want to go back to that before this episode is done.
Speaker 2:The watermelon with seeds, the black go. I want to go back to that before this episode is done. The watermelon with seeds, the black seeds, the black seeds, and and you're asking someone who works there and probably should know, and they're like oh well, um, I don't know, let me go ask so. And so that's when I become engaging, because you can't exist in this space with me at a lower level of energy and you work here. You have to be like on point, and so that's where I utilize this skill set that I've been blessed with to be able to charge someone in order for them to exist in my space that's important and let me let me speak on behalf of the person that's low energy Cause.
Speaker 1:That was me this week and, like you said, you maintain what was it like before I go into what I wanted to say? What was it like to be with me for the week? What price was I paying to be in your space?
Speaker 2:Um, I think you realized it. Like every time it dipped below baseline, I was just very intense about bringing the levels back up and cheering you up and sometimes cracking jokes. We laughed a whole lot more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did. I just realized that I was like you took me on some comedic type of hours. I felt like I was getting this stand-up comedy show for free Absolutely type of hours.
Speaker 2:I felt like I was getting this stand-up comedy show for free, absolutely, because I mean, if you allow both people to dip, it begins to drain, and that's what I can't do and you also left space, though, for the conversation absolutely but you didn't.
Speaker 1:Let us stay there no, no doubt so I love what you're saying about what you charge people Because at first I was like, where in the heck is my husband going with this? But I get it. Now I get it. What I can expect is you're going to respect how I feel, but you're going to try to lift me up.
Speaker 2:Right. Can I give one more example before you go on? So there are people that were or could possibly still be in my life. I won't say for sure because I don't want no one to get upset but have that negative energy. That's always just. You know what's wrong with the world, what's wrong with the job, what's wrong with people, how come this, how come that? And so you can either deal with that and allow them to live in your space, rent free, or you give that positive charge. Some people will change. They'll flip because you're conscious about it. They're not. That's their baseline, so they're used to being negative. But because you recognize that this level of negativity is bringing you down, you begin to flip it At some point in time. Most people, most level-headed people, will flip with you. Some other people don't want to flip, so they stay in that negative space. But they can't exist in your space while they're being negative, so they opt to leave. They didn't want to accept the charge that you were giving, so they opt out.
Speaker 1:Got it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Got it, and when I think about how you were maneuvering this week with me, I not only think was it a matter of you being there for me, but I think it was a matter of your brain also saying I need to protect me in this.
Speaker 1:So let me make sure we balance this out. You know what I mean. Oh yeah, so that helped me because we were in that space where I felt really safe, despite the ups and downs of my emotions, and because of that safety I was able to tell myself I can handle this. Like it just made me more aware, so I was able to regulate my emotions more, if that makes sense. So having that time with you and that type of energy really helped me and I just you know, I think of Corey man just this change is going to be huge for me huge. And then my team's going through some changes, right, and so trying to figure out how to lead change during a time where I'm experiencing a new kind of next chapter, like climbing that next mountain, this is a new mountain for me.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:And I have to figure out the path, the path, the, the trails you know, and the and the terrain of this new land. And so, um, I think one of the things that helped me this week and that I really encourage other people and even if my team's listening now is that we kind of focus on the small wins, right. Not especially when you feel like I don't have control, because that's actually how it feels right now. It's like, man, I don't have control of what's to come. I'm just kind of going in there in blind faith and going to figure this out, right of what's to come.
Speaker 2:I'm just kind of going in there in blind faith and going to figure this out, right, and so what I like to do is charge you with no, you have full control. As a matter of fact, you have more control than anyone else, because this is happening, this is happening and this is happening, and you decide when, where and how it transpires, and if you don't take control of it, you find yourself spiraling in a downward motion. You say, well, give me an example. How am I in control of that? So no one can choose to talk to you about this scenario that's happening in your life, unless you say so, and then you decide whether you want to be happy about it or sad about it, or have no emotion.
Speaker 1:You control how you react to it exactly you don't necessarily control what the changes are, because, especially at work right, that's, there's a change, right, okay, I got you. At first I was like, what do you mean? Another thing that's helped me too this week is because you start to create stories of what could be and that's just our natural. That is a natural response, by the way, everybody, if you feel like, oh, I'm being so negative, usually that happens when there's change and we just have to actually control our mindset, right? So, cory, I had said earlier, it's like what's on the other side of? Yes, this really helped me is staying out of the gossip loops. Oh, because they were everywhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Everywhere with change, people have a lot to say, and it's typically about things that we don't really know that are happening. But because we need to make sense of what's happening, we what do we do? So well, create these stories and connect things.
Speaker 2:I'd like to offer this as a suggestion. What I do is a silence balance. The moment you get into a space where you're silent for about 20 to 30 minutes, your body begins to balance out. Excuse me, basically, what happens is you're allowed to hear the still voice with inside you, opposed to all the noise happening around you, and then you can start to make clear decisions on what's next and and what's really happening, because most of us can balance If we have the right environment. There's some people that can't, and and that's okay. But for the people that can balance, um, in silence, that's the safest place to go, because you'll you'll figure things out a whole lot quicker that way I like that because there were times this week where I thought, oh, oh, I need downtime, I just need to be in silence.
Speaker 1:But I wasn't in silence, I was scrolling, there was a lot of different noise and information and what that actually did is kept me from going through the emotions and sorting them out right. So what I also want to do for the next time I have like this huge change in a week, like I just had, is just that consistent morning routine and what you said that 20 to 30 minutes should be plugged in there. I know when I did go for walks it was a great reset. I can't. I mean, there's science that explains it, so I don't have to explain, but there's something about when you move during this time, like it resets you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right. So that was um super important. And then I just said you know, I'm not going to go in in this with fear, right? So I think that's part of the positive. The high energy mindset is not reacting in fear but being excited about the growth that's going to happen.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I love that you brought this topic up. Is there anything that we missed or that we need to?
Speaker 2:well, we go deeper and we didn't tackle how you deal with a high energy situation or person. Do it? Um? Well, I I love to pose that question to you because you're typically the highest the highest energy in the room.
Speaker 1:So yeah, you got to tell me how that works. Um, I'll just okay. So let me just start this conversation this way, from one high energy person and if there's another high energy person, I tend to just calm the heck down that's really important for me, and I don't mind being that person, because it actually kind of stresses me out. When you've got two big personalities, big energies going. Um, I think it's cool to let the other live, and what's even better is when that person kind of does the same thing.
Speaker 2:So there's this amazing dance, and I think that's where creativity lives really yeah, I really enjoy that when it's two high energy people and they realize that we need a balance here.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We can't both compete for this attention.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then both personalities figure out the happy medium. Sure.
Speaker 1:Let me share a tip, because usually when I'm teaching, I say the 80-20 rule. I say the 80-20 rule. So when you want engagement, a good practice is 20% me speaking, 80% the group right, even in coaching sessions. That's like such a wonderful formula. When it comes to two people in that kind of space, I go with 60-. So anytime, like, for example, when I'm with you and we're talking, I am intentionally listening 60 of the time and 40 me. Can you see that? Come alive?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, absolutely, but please tell, tell the people why you're so silent and I'm doing well because you talk so much is.
Speaker 1:Is that what you mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah, ultimately that's what I'm saying, but a lot of people don't think I talk a lot. You're very detail oriented.
Speaker 1:So when you talk to me about something where I give like the cliff notes, you give the book. So yeah, you're just really detailed, there's definitely no room for confusion. You provide great clarity. I'll tell you that, and I've just learned to listen and have you be able to express yourself. So, yeah, that's the 60-40.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 1:Now I'm high energy and so how do people cope with me? I don't know. Cory say like you see people um interact with me. What does it look like?
Speaker 2:well, it's different for me and and I can only tell what it looks like because, um, you're, you're the opposite with me. You don't always give me the high energy because I'm so much and I know I'm way over the top.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's explain this real quick. Sure, so at work, which is our nine to five, right? So we're there for nine hours. Corey is not. I'm going to say you are not who you really are at work, no, right.
Speaker 2:Not at all.
Speaker 1:So you're very subdued, chilled, it's kind of I don't know. It's just, it's a job. Yeah, for me I'm like on the whole time because of my work and I love what I do, but I flip so by the end of the day I tend to introvert some because man, like I've expelled all my energy and now it's like, ah well, you can imagine. Cory is like yes, it's four o'clock, I'm out of here and hear me roar Right, and then I'm the one on the receiving end of all the energy that's pent up. So, yeah, that's what that like. And I'm like, oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2:And so it's like people are like how do you handle this, how do you deal with this? And Jen was like you have no idea.
Speaker 1:People think how does Corey keep up with you, or put up with you, whatever way they see me? That's a good indicator actually of how people might see me. If they say keep up, they might actually be okay with me. If they say put up, I'm going to pay more attention to that.
Speaker 2:Look out there.
Speaker 1:But I always say you have no idea.
Speaker 2:None attention to that. Look out there. But I I always say you have no idea. Yeah, it's for me. That being see, I I let me explain this because I know a lot of people are like oh, he, he doesn't love his job, he doesn't love what he does. It's not that at all. What it is is that, if you know I'll give a simple uh example if you're a singer, you can't sing at work all day, right? No, no because you're in a meeting.
Speaker 2:You're living in a musical right, but I mean, if you work in a corporate office right and you walk in the office singing a, a medley of of songs right.
Speaker 1:How are you today? How was your weekend?
Speaker 2:I want to play, no right. But uh, eventually someone would say you know, could you please stop that? I can't live in the space that I live in with you. Like I would break out in a dance or start screaming and people would be like what is wrong with this dude? But that's me.
Speaker 1:You would be getting sent for drug tests exactly, so I can't do that right, yeah, so what are we saying here? Because I'm like what was the question? So high energy. So the way I deal with your high energy at the end of the day and I'm like depleted, is I just let it live and breathe yeah, I I participate by being the audience yeah, and sometimes she, she plays into it yeah but most of the time she's just quiet.
Speaker 2:You know I'm saying why are you so quiet?
Speaker 1:and I think that's maybe how people might be with me when I'm high energy, you know, it's like, oh, that they just let it breathe and live, as long as I don't cross over into their personal space or bother them. And if, maybe, if I do, maybe they walk out for a little bit. You know, I don't know, but, um, yeah, I just think it's cool and people can cohabitate. Is that the word Cohabitate?
Speaker 1:Cohabitate, Cohabitate oh great, I got it right the first time. So, yeah, you just learn to do that and you learn to appreciate all the differences. I think that's what makes it so much fun and so beautiful is that people are so different and when you learn to be a team, together or have a relationship and stay committed to that relationship despite those differences, I think that's where we experienced growth and that high energy that you're talking about and high energy doesn't necessarily, like you know, like always loud. It's that positive. I think that's what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:I'm talking about it all.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So my messaging simple, simple and plain. In this climate where there's lots of challenges, lots of information, lots of news that may be telling you the truth may be not telling you the truth, you got to find your happy space and your happy medium and if that is where you want to live, don't let anyone come in, invade your space rent-free. Charge the appropriate amount for them to live there.
Speaker 1:Beautifully said and, if I may add, Sure.
Speaker 1:My advice is to protect your space. In addition to what, corey, what you shared is. I choose joy over happy, because happy is very dependent, I think, on different things, whereas joy is just something that you choose to be, no matter what. So if I'm choosing joy, you can have the most negative person around me who just sees all the bad, doesn't want to. You know, recognize the blessings and the could be's and the possibilities. I just tap into my own joy because it's not dependent on that person or their energy, you know.
Speaker 1:I'm with you I love that you're with me all right. Well, this was a great episode, cory, thanks for bringing this forward. I think it's so relevant and needed yeah, I, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I was in the middle of a swallow and a hiccup and it was just caught. So, yes, I'm glad that, uh, this boy, I'm glad that this was a good topic and I hope it landed with you know a few other people so that they can take this information and see if it applies to them or maybe not.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, we'll be back here next week. Please check out our websites.
Speaker 2:Corey's done such an amazing job on oh yes please, I, I can't wait, I really want I okay, I just had a moment, but I really want some, uh, feedback on both websites, fuzzyfurryforestcom and thegenko. That's T-H-E-G-E-N-K-Ocom. Go check them out, you know. Let us know what you think Subscribe.
Speaker 2:You know that'd be cool. Join the email list and you'll be getting some special information on things to come and things that are happening in our lives right now. To come and things that are happening in our lives right now and watch our business just kind of prosper and thrive a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we love that. Well, it's been great. And you know us at Take the Elevator, we say look up and let's elevate Every day, Elevate Every day, elevate Every day, elevate Every day.
