Take the Elevator
This podcast is purely about elevating people through individual life stories and experiences in the Elevator. In the Elevator, what's key is maybe changing your perspective; having self-actualization; embracing your purpose; and acting on it as we grow from one another. There is a whole different point of view when you look up to elevate.
Take the Elevator
355th Floor: This is About What's Happening, Period!
The world can feel overwhelming with political tensions, employment uncertainties, and relational challenges bombarding us daily. But what if the key to thriving isn't controlling your circumstances, but mastering your response to them?
"You may not choose what shows up at your door, but you do choose whether it gets invited in." This powerful insight forms the foundation of our conversation about reclaiming personal agency in chaotic times. We share personal breakthroughs that emerged from seemingly impossible situations, demonstrating how life's interruptions often contain hidden opportunities.
Building effective mental filters is essential for protecting your peace. Just as different substances require specific filtration methods, various life areas demand unique boundaries. Work stress doesn't belong at home. Political anxiety shouldn't infiltrate your workplace. By becoming intentional about what you allow in, you prevent unnecessary negativity from contaminating your entire life.
We explore the concept of being "the thermostat, not the thermometer" in your environment. While thermometers merely reflect surrounding conditions, thermostats actively set and regulate temperature. Similarly, you can dictate the emotional climate of your life rather than simply reacting to external pressures.
Perhaps most importantly, we discuss preventing outside chaos from becoming your inner soundtrack. In a world where even music can be engineered to create specific emotional responses, consciously choosing what influences your thoughts and feelings becomes an act of empowerment.
This episode isn't about denial or toxic positivity—it's about intentionality and choice. By asking better questions like "What story am I telling myself about this situation, and what else could be true?" you open pathways to greater understanding and peace.
Ready to transform how you respond to life's challenges? Listen now, and remember: "Today, I choose to respond. I release what's not mine. I protect my peace. I decide what gets in."
hey, it's jen the builder, and cory and hello everybody and hello april yes, here we are. My goodness, it's april. Some people might know this as the month of Nissan. If you didn't know that, it's pretty cool because, corey, you taught me years ago. You said, jen, did you know that the new year actually started like in March and they added January and February? And it's true. Some people celebrate New Year in March. I think it's March 30th to be exact.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, these are all facts, fun facts, yeah, and. I'm a little taken aback because I didn't expect for you to randomly throw that out, and even more so to remember that you know we have those discussions.
Speaker 1:But that's cool, yeah, even more so to remember that we had those discussions, but that's cool, yeah, so this episode today is circled around the word happening and so we've talked to quite a few people and, because of the climate of the world we live in, a lot of our friends, family, people we run into are feeling defeated, people we run into are feeling defeated and we really wanted this episode to have you feeling empowered and elevated and taking a shift. But before we get into what's happening and how to keep what's happening around us from what's happening to us, that's powerful. So I'm really excited to jump in there. But, corey, you've got some updates you want to share with our friends.
Speaker 2:I have one really big, wonderful update. And that's that, kelly Kanga, our fourth installment of books is coming out on May 1st.
Speaker 2:It's just been confirmed and I would like to be one of those people who have months and months in advance of knowing my stuff is going to be released. But you know, in this day and age you just don't have that luxury like that. So it will be out May 1st and please look for it on all platforms. I'm working on getting into some stores as well, physical stores like Sprouts and target and walmart. So, just you know, throw the positive thoughts my way so that can happen we need those things.
Speaker 1:Throw it our way because, ladies and gentlemen, I'm very excited about kelly kinga because, like cory said, I think in a couple episodes, kelly king is our first female uh of the Fuzzy Furry Forest that's coming out, and it's very special to me because it's the mother and child relationship and so appropriately coming out in May, which is Mother's Day month.
Speaker 1:So I just think this one's going to be a big deal, a bit of a heart warmer as well, it's beautiful and the song that goes with it, because, if you didn't know, we have a soundtrack, and so you know I get all teary eyed when I hear it. All right, so let's talk about today's episode how to keep what's happening from happening to you. So what we're hoping to do today is have conversation to help us and you recognize our power. Yes, we have power in shaping how we respond to life's challenges. We like to call them sometimes as interruptions. Right, you have a plan, and here comes an interruption speed bump, roadblock, hurdles right, yeah, all that good stuff, yeah detour, road closed, all that stuff and, honestly, negativity.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, it's all around us and we want to talk about turning these obstacles into opportunities and this I love and reclaiming personal agency. So it's not us giving up the power, but us taking it back and being in control of our um responses either taking it back or holding on to it, because it's yours to hold on to anyway yeah, exactly, soori. You stay pretty attuned to what's happening. So define what's happening right now in the world like what we're experiencing.
Speaker 2:Well, there's a political happening in the world right now, but that stuff is out of our hands, because I'm all about changing what I can change and putting up the best front and fight for what I can't change. But that that I can't change I'm not going to worry about or take time and spend energy on, because it's just so much more things to do. As a matter of fact, I'm just going to jump right here. If you see what we're seeing, with people being upset and making strange decisions, this is the best time to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and do what it is that you've been called to do, and so I'm going to focus more on that. There are employment things happening, there's family and relational things happening, but we're more focused on the political environment and things of that such Right, and I love that, and we definitely want to be real and acknowledge that life doesn't stop happening.
Speaker 1:right? We're not saying, oh, ignore this stuff, that's happening. No, what we're actually saying is let's talk about how we process, because I think that's everything in a world that's giving us interruptions yes, I'm shaking my head profusely because I agree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1:so let me put in an elevator insight, cory, that we agreed to at this point is that you may not choose what shows up at your door, but you do choose whether it gets invited in, absolutely.
Speaker 2:How does that resonate with you? Oh, that lands like a ton of bricks. You know there's a lot of things that knock at my door on a daily basis and I'm just not having it. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to be a part of it, and a lot of people that I interact with look at me strange when I say hey, thanks, but no thanks, or I'm not in that space right now. You know it's hard to do a podcast, be in a band, write books, be in an active, functioning marital relationship, have children, have nine-to-five employment and then deal with someone else's drama, and that's just not something I'm open to doing. So when that drama knocks on the door, wrong, wrong number.
Speaker 1:that's right, that's right. And so when I think of things at the door, I also think sometimes it feels like they're trying to knock that door down, right? Oh yeah, it's something that you can't ignore. It's like the person at the door that just obnoxiously bangs on it and keeps ringing the doorbell. Yeah, and so I love where we went this weekend and we talked to some special people in our lives and the word breakthrough came up. So I just had an image where things are trying to break in. We say breakthrough right, because those are the things sometimes that happens in your life. That says man, I wasn't expecting that, and here's, here's how it worked out. So my question to you, corey, is if you could share with me and the listeners what's the situation where you turned a happening into a personal breakthrough.
Speaker 2:I think life is always attempting to happen to us, but I'm just a student of taking charge Again. There are some things you just can't change. You know we all have an appointment with death. That's inevitable. You can't change that. We don't know when it's coming. Excuse me, but we can determine how we go about living until that day comes. So I don't really have a specific, but I'd love to hear something If you have a specific that you'd love to hear something if you have a specific that you want to lean into yeah, I think after wow, excuse me, I've got a frog in my throat literally right now, oh my gosh, but I think, over 350 episodes.
Speaker 1:I have to pause and think, like, what stories have I shared? Because I know there's been some repeat and I feel like a lot of my life has been breakthrough moments off the unexpected. Oh yeah, right. So, um, let me share a story that's pretty personal. Um, speaking of moms, we talked about kelly kinga coming out.
Speaker 1:Um, man, it is hard to admit as a parent that you haven't done everything the way that you should have. And there's the power of hindsight and at the time you're going through things, you don't have that right because it's like real time right. And so I went through a challenge as a. I was separated from my kids for a few years because their father and I had divorced. And Corey, when I tell you, I just thought, man, this relationship's going to be damaged and it's going to be hard to bounce back, and I just couldn't see it happening because I was so stuck in my despair and just woe is me. And what am I doing? And and when the kids and I reunited, there was immediate breakthrough just from being together again, and then how everything happened. So that's what I have to say about that. There are many times where I thought this is a shut door, like I can't see the light in this, but it was in those moments that the breakthrough happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I appreciate that story only because not only because, but one of the main reasons because I was in your life before the kids came back and then I made an exit and then I came back after they had, uh, and I knew I needed to make an exit because they were coming back and your life was getting back on track, and so it just made it more reaffirming and reassuring that I did the right thing and you did the right thing, and so that's how we know. Life wasn't happening to us, but we were allowed to dictate the narrative in that way.
Speaker 1:That's such a big part of that story. Yeah, we could have let life happen to us, but instead we made things happen above the circumstances that we were currently in. And I love that story, corey, because, yeah, we had broke up for a little bit and you called me unexpectedly and when we talked you said how are you doing? You know what's new, what's happening. And I think within the first couple of sentences I said I got my kids back, yeah, and I remember you telling me the story like okay, she's ready, yeah, we're ready. Well, I checked out a few things. I said is this person still around?
Speaker 2:and you said, yeah, no, and, and then the kid thing came up and I'm like okay yeah, she's ready, yeah, we're both settled and in our right state of minds and we're able to deal with this. So it made me feel more comfortable and, again, at this point, life's not just happening. So it's like what just happened to me. It's like, oh, I'm gonna control this I'm gonna make this happen yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think there's a couple of things here. There are things, decisions that we make in life that aren't necessarily the best decisions, and those can still work out. And then there's the part where being at the center of your story doesn't mean you control the plot twist, right? We watched a show today. We're like, oh, that's the plot twist, but it means that you do decide the next move, right.
Speaker 1:And that's I think what's really speaking in my heart that I hope lands on everyone listening, is that you get to decide what the next move is or what it isn't. Yes, absolutely so, cory. Help us out here when we're going through these things and my voice is going away because I'm so excited right now is how do you build a mental filter for all these things that are coming at us.
Speaker 2:Well, there's different filters for different things. So of course there's an air filter for the flow of air and then there's a water filter for the flow of water, and so in the same way there's filters for people in different relationships and situations. So you have to filter your personal relationships, like family and wife and husband, differently than you do your friends, obviously. But some people don't and they mix the two and you have an overflow of emotions or whatever is happening to you. And then you have another filter for your job and some people mix that filter up and so you bring work stuff home and it really creates a big problem. But that's when you're allowing life to happen to you.
Speaker 2:But if you apply the proper filter to a political scene, that's happening, and then when you go to work, that doesn't leak over. So you're not talking about political things at work, which is a big no-no anyway, but we do that from time to time. Or if there's something very stressful or difficult to deal with at work, you don't let that bleed over into the personal life. You deal with it accordingly and if it's not going to affect you, you probably shouldn't even dabble your fingers into that. That's the way I typically approach it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really good advice. And when I think of a filter, too, I think what tools do you have to filter any negativity, right? So if it's still in the talks and something hasn't happened, I wouldn't carry that Like it's not happened and it hasn't definitely hasn't happened to you. So let's not add extra stress and anxiety by carrying something number one that doesn't belong to us. Number two, something that hasn't happened yet. Right, right and just. I love staying in the spaces of gratitude and just reframing the things that are coming to my mind. That's part of my filter. It has to be right, because I can get very emotional and feeling about things, right, and so I have to really be present and reframe and deal with the reality and not my vivid imagination of, oh my God, this is going to happen. So, jen.
Speaker 2:I got a question for you because I've experienced this on quite a regular basis. People in this day and age are very prone to making it all about them yeah, and whatever is happening, it's going to happen to me. Yes, and they're literally getting themselves sick from worry, or they're getting themselves into trouble by speaking too soon, thinking oh, let me address this before it does happen. Yeah, and it's not even going to happen to them. So how does one avoid that very strange situation?
Speaker 1:That's a loaded question, yeah, I know. So one of the things that comes to my mind is something you brought up within that question is really differentiate between what's yours and what's not yours, and understand the power of timing. Just be again. We're emphasizing responding versus reacting, and there's empowerment in that when you respond in a responsible, wise manner, instead of that first knee-jerk reaction, saying something that would be really hard to take back and something you regret.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. So that would be mine and just setting protecting your peace. How about that? Because one reaction begets another one and if, at the end of the day, it doesn't protect my peace, that's where I know I'm not gonna go there. There's a better way to say this. There's an audience for this, and maybe this is not that moment right, right.
Speaker 2:One more question before you go on. Is there ever a time when you should just say absolutely nothing? You should just be yes, absolutely I.
Speaker 1:In fact, that's a lot of the spaces I'm in now. Okay, because it it is. It is chaotic, there's so many different things flying at us and I just kind of move my head to the side to dodge it and, just in silent, taking everything in do you ever feel powerless or more powerful when you do this?
Speaker 1:I feel powerful, okay, because I'm not being reactive, because I'm in control and I'm regulating right now. Am I like that a hundred percent? No, that would be a big fat lie. But I'm going to say about 90% of what I'm processing, and it's things that are happening fast, I mean, and when, when I'm with people I work with or people in my family or my friendships, I'm very grateful that I get to say can we just take a time out and allow some processing time on this?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And yes, we'll get back to it, but you don't need a response from me in like a minute. Give me time to catch up.
Speaker 2:Right right.
Speaker 1:Right, so I really love that.
Speaker 2:But as musicians Corey I love this insight is not letting the chaos outside become a part of our inner soundtrack Love. That Did you come up with that? Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, I like that a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that's so important because it's our rhythm, it's our flow and, yeah, chaos is not a part of what we do.
Speaker 2:No, it's not. It shouldn't be anyway. And if you're living by that soundtrack of chaos, then you're probably going to recognize that you're lost in a bunch of blah all the time, and that's when you know I've let the chaos become the soundtrack of my life instead of the actual music, which should be peaceful and melodic and carrying you through the day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there is a reason and this is my preference and this is why that quote speaks to me. There is music I don't touch because it literally frustrates me and it gives me just achy feelings, like I can't do headbanging music, I can't do hardcore rap, it just messes with my feng shui, if you will. Oh wow, so yeah, how much more for chaos in my inner soundtrack.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying, absolutely I'm gonna drop something and I challenge anyone listening to check me on this. In fact, check me on this one. They are tuning the drums in rap music to vibrate against our very being, and so if you have this happening, you're pretty much inviting the chaos. And I've been a musician for a long time, but I would have never thought the day would come to where they're using the vibrations of drumming and vibrations of sound to penetrate and create certain feelings in a negative manner, to cause harm. Yes, it's just rude.
Speaker 1:To cause harm. Yes, it's just rude.
Speaker 2:It's wild.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So that led me to think like what am I attracting or allowing right in my environment or atmosphere? And I think, studying things like that, like you, would never think people are like oh, Jen Coreyory, you're too much. But people act with intention on all fronts, and this is what I say respond with intention because that's what's coming at us. People intentionally want to cause chaos and harm, bring confusion, give you something to be distracted with because they're working on another thing, Another agenda.
Speaker 2:Yes. And so you may ask well, corey, why would you bring that to the forefront? What purpose would that serve? Well, this is how you can begin to stop things from happening to you. If you're aware of them, if you're looking into them, and if you look into that and you find out, hey, there's some truth to what he said, then you'll dig a little bit deeper and say you know what? There are some things I'm going to begin to turn out of my life, turn down in my life, push away from my life so I can get rid of some of this chaos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so just making room for what you actually want by stopping what you've been tolerating like knocking off. Yeah, these things don't have to happen to you. We don't have to allow that. I love this is this is not mine. I read it somewhere Protect your atmosphere. You're the thermostat, not the thermometer.
Speaker 2:Ooh Again, say it again A real good one.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful. So you're the thermostat, not the thermometer. You control that temperature. Yeah, you say up, you say down. You say I want it on auto or not. You know that's beautiful. Want it on auto or not, you know that's beautiful. So, cory, as we're sitting here, is there anything?
Speaker 2:that strikes you that you definitely want to share. I just want to be a constant reminder to anyone listening that being that controller of your environment is so powerful. It has so much behind it. Because you dictate who gets to enter your space, who does not get to enter your space you get. You also get to dictate what you're allowing yourself to be open to and not open to. So take control of that and be proud of it. Be bold about it. Enjoy that. When you see that negativity coming, don't welcome it in. Let it know. Hey, not today. I'm going a whole nother way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really important, right, corey? Because we teach and we hear about empathy and you can be empathetic without being a sponge. I think that's really important too, because not only are things happening around us, people come to maybe you directly and are saying, hey, I want to offload right hear me right, help me carry this okay, okay.
Speaker 2:so I gotta pause you right there for a second, because what you did was there is some coach or motivator that is listening, elevator listening, and they're saying to themselves Jen, how do we, as elevators, motivators and speakers, not take on that negativity, how do we not take on that offload? So how do you navigate those waters?
Speaker 1:well, I think as a speaker, right which is another role um, you're really on that stage for a moment. You have most things planned not scripted, I hope, because that keeps you flexible, right and you're giving the energy and this is just best tips for anyone speaking. You can find your focal points in the audience by who's engaging with you and keep that as your life-giving energy in that moment.
Speaker 2:Right right.
Speaker 1:As a coach, I think there's some really good questions we even need to ask ourselves, along with our clients. When we're talking about um empowerment, it's um questions like what keeps happening to me that I need to stop allowing right. The great reflection question, or where my life am I absorbing what doesn't belong to me? Right and and then my last question and this is a very famous question, and with good reason it's what story am I telling myself about this situation and what else could be true?
Speaker 2:What else could be true? I love that question most of all and more than anything else, because, even to talking to you, I've told myself this story and I've convinced myself this is what it is. And so, instead of me saying, corey, before you open mouth, insert foot, what else can be true? Yes, and that has saved my life on several occasions. I can say so. I'm very grateful for that to be presented to me at some point in time, and I just ask myself that all the time, every time I have an opportunity to Absolutely Well.
Speaker 1:Corey, I just want to thank you for really listening to and paying attention to what's going around us and making such a good suggestion for today's episode. You know our hearts are all about the people that plug into this podcast and they're in our lives, so for that we're grateful, and I just want to leave this episode with a practical affirmation or a statement or something to think about. Where you say something like Today, I choose to respond, I release what's not mine, I protect my peace and I decide what gets in. Oh, yeah, yeah. So let that one just settle and, um, think about that one marinate, marinate, yeah and elevate because you know as to take the elevator.
Speaker 1:we say look up and let's elevate Every day, elevate Every day, elevate Every day, elevate Every day.
