Take the Elevator
This podcast is purely about elevating people through individual life stories and experiences in the Elevator. In the Elevator, what's key is maybe changing your perspective; having self-actualization; embracing your purpose; and acting on it as we grow from one another. There is a whole different point of view when you look up to elevate.
Take the Elevator
353rd Floor: March Madness - From Bench to the Big Time
Feeling overlooked, undervalued, or sidelined in your career or personal life? This powerful episode transforms the concept of being "benched" from a negative experience into a strategic advantage that can propel you toward future success.
Drawing from basketball metaphors and real-world examples, we unpack how being on the bench gives you unique perspective—allowing you to observe the game, learn from others' mistakes, and develop strategies before you're thrust into the spotlight. Rather than viewing these moments as rejection, we reframe them as essential preparation time for your eventual call-up.
We share vulnerable personal stories about times we were pushed into situations we weren't ready for—including a devastating singing performance that crushed confidence for over a year—highlighting why sometimes the bench is exactly where you need to be while developing your skills. But we also address when being perpetually sidelined might signal it's time to find a new "team" where your talents will be better utilized.
The episode offers practical strategies for those currently feeling benched: how to stay engaged, continue developing your skills in the shadows, and ensure you're ready when opportunity knocks. We emphasize the importance of communicating your readiness to leadership with the simple but powerful message: "Put me in coach, I'm ready to play."
Whether you're currently starting in your field or waiting for your big break, this conversation provides valuable perspective on maximizing every position you find yourself in. Remember, championship teams need reliable bench players just as much as they need stars—and your time to shine may be closer than you think.
Hey, it's Jen the Builder and Corey, and welcome to Take the Elevator. It's so good to have you here Before we get started, coreyory, what the topic is. There is one thing I want to address our last episode, march madness, menopause. I got so excited over the topic and what happened. I accidentally hit the wrong button first, so when we exited out there was like no music for the first time in over 350 episodes and I loved everyone who told me about it.
Speaker 2:Oh, really, no one told me anything about it. As a matter of fact, everyone was so excited about the whole interview.
Speaker 1:That's what I was hearing about, so, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got the same kind of feedback, so definitely want to give some love and a shout out to lovella once again for being on the elevator. And then I've got one shout out and this just made my my week not even my day, but my week. So I'm working with some leaders and we're doing our thing and I asked a question we're kind of doing a round robin, right and before she shared, she goes. So this is totally off topic, but I just had to put it out there she goes. I just started listening to Take the Elevator and it's so good and this is the part that got me. She said and Jen, you are exactly the way you are here at work, outside of work, and she goes you really are about people and placing them in positive levels and she loves it, she loves the podcast. So that was really cool.
Speaker 2:Well, I am excited to hear that as well. And she's right, you were exactly the same Home in them streets at work In them streets. I'm just playing, jen don't know nothing about no streets.
Speaker 1:I don't um. You want to see what I look like scared and quiet.
Speaker 2:Yes, because it's it's unfamiliar territory.
Speaker 1:So people ask me jen, are you ever still or quiet?
Speaker 2:that's one of those moments where yeah yeah, I just hold on to cory and look at my surroundings, because cory always tell me be aware of your surroundings absolutely no need and just being engulfed in your phone and you're sitting in a strange new neighborhood and you're just like not paying attention, but hey you know that's what I'm here for, so I'll take care of all that.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that. So let's talk about today's episode. We are still going with March madness, Hello, and this episode is going to be titled titled from the bench to the big time. So this episode is designed to elevate our listeners who feel overlooked, underutilized or sidelined. Who feel overlooked, underutilized or sidelined. So what we mean by this is sometimes life feels like you're benched right, You're not getting the opportunities, recognition or momentum that you desire.
Speaker 2:No play in the game of life.
Speaker 1:And, just like in March Madness, the bench can become the biggest game changer when the moment's right. So, corey, you are going to have the honor of leading us through this episode and exploring how to stay ready, refine your game and elevate even when no one's watching.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and the thing about it is well, again, let's first establish that you're going to guide and direct us through this process.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I am.
Speaker 2:Great. So the thing to know about, you know, being on the bench is not it's not the worst place to be in. When you're talking about getting started in something, be it a sport, be it in life, be it in a career Sometimes it's nice to start on the bench so you can get a lay of the land, you can understand what's happening in this career, you can understand what's happening in that particular job or department. That way, you can learn how to flourish without making a whole bunch of mistakes. As a matter of fact, you can watch other people figure things out, so you don't have to, and then you're a much more valuable player coming off the bench, so to speak. And so that's why I personally like coming off the bench, and I experienced that in multiple aspects, and we'll get into some of that a little bit later.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So for someone like me who's never played ball and has enjoyed watching it, I'm going to correlate being benched to being sidelined in life for work, yeah, Right. So I love what you're bringing forward as to why the bench is impactful and why it's important. So some common bench moments I think our friends and listeners could relate to. Maybe you've been passed up for promotion or you're like, yeah, I wasn't in that meeting and it's kind of weird because my work's all over it, you know, and I just wasn't included. Or maybe in relationship, sometimes you feel unseen, right, undervalued, not important. Here's another one especially at work, is ideas not taken seriously or not even heard, right? So I think that equates for me to what it, what it's like to be on the bench and the feelings that come um from being sidelined. But we are here to elevate and give you another perspective of being sidelined.
Speaker 2:And also I just really want to throw this in there because we're covering all these aspects there's going to be another very important aspect of this, too, because you got to know when you need to be traded. Because sometimes you've been on the bench entirely too long and it just doesn't look promising. So you got to make some better decisions for your life, for your career, for your job, whatever it may be. So you're looking to go to another team so you can be utilized better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's interesting how relevant that is right now for some people in our lives. So let's talk about real quick emotions. Corey, you played ball, so were you ever on the bench? What does that look like? Because I have some feelings that I would share if I was on the bench, and that's why I'm so excited about this episode, because I'm here to learn about how to see things differently.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. So I'm going to use the basketball analogy, but I'm definitely tying it into work, relationships and everything else. So I played the six man, which typically in basketball there's five players on each team on the floor, and so the first guy that comes in usually is the six man to give somebody a rest or play a particular position. And so I was able to do that, which gave me a lot of joy because again I got to see the beginnings of the game, I seen who was deficient in the game, oh, and you got to see the other team.
Speaker 2:I got to see the other team, the other team, and so in the same way in the work world, if you're not, you know, leading the, the, the team or the um office for one particular thing or another, and you get a chance to watch and see how it's being led. What it does for you, when you are given that opportunity, is you can make sure that you don't make the same mistakes that the other person made, as I said earlier, that you don't make the same mistakes that the other person made. As I said earlier, you can also build upon that and then implement a little bit more of your strategy and strategic operation.
Speaker 1:Right, right. So before we get into the strategy, let's talk about how I think sometimes maybe someone like me would feel, because I'm highly competitive and I like playing. Let's just be real.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you want to be in there, I want to be in the game. All the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I might feel frustrated or I might feel like I'm doubting myself, like maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was. Why am I even on this team, right? Do they need me? I'd probably start comparing, like me, to the team that's actually playing Um, and I'd probably feel invisible and that sounds so extreme.
Speaker 2:Yeah, extreme, and sad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, and I don't know if anyone can relate to that, but that's how I would perceive that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's quite possible. I'm sure a lot of people go through the I've disappeared and I'm not seen and nobody's even looking to put me in this. And what's sad is I remember hearing conversations about this and so I know for a fact people are feeling this way and the most important thing about that is just don't start feeling invisible. You have to make yourself feel very visible, but not with busy work. Just keep doing what you were hired to do, what you were supposed to do, what you were meant to do, and eventually this will pay off, this will be seen, or you get to a point where you realize this is not the right team for me, but there's other signs and other red flags to pop up before you have to go through that. That's a pretty long process to wait for that.
Speaker 1:So what I'm hearing you say is where people could see the the bench as rejection. Uh, is actually time for preparation.
Speaker 2:It's time for deep study and definitely preparation. What you're preparing for is the big time, the big show, the big opportunities that present themselves, and nobody wants to step up because they realize like, oh, if I mess this up, it's going to all be on me. See, that's that's what I look forward to. I look for that moment that everything's going to all be on me. See, that's what I look forward to. I look for that moment that everything's going to fall on me. It's either going to be awful or it's going to be an amazing situation. And then I know exactly what I need to prepare for if I'm putting that big show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's good, but I'm going to take a step back because I'm learning the process and trying to correlate it to the sport.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I hear you.
Speaker 1:So I feel like being on the bench. It still requires practice in the shadows, and this one really hits home for me is that I know that real growth happens when not a lot of people are watching. A lot of people are watching, right? It's those moments where you're in the room reading a book, or you're signing up for free webinars and not everyone knows, or you're writing a book for six months and nobody knows, and then it's out and you realize how much you've grown and you haven't really played the game. It's all in the preparation. You know what I mean, right, right, really played the game. It's all in the preparation. You know what I mean, right, right, yeah, so let's talk about. Um. Well, I'm gonna ask everyone here what are you doing to improve your game, even if you're not in the spotlight, because I think that's when it when it matters.
Speaker 1:So there are team members that I work with who take the time to learn in downtime. So, when my team isn't actively working or facilitating my gosh, corey. This team is incredible because they're plugging into all sorts of books, articles, things that they're finding to grow their skill and to sharpen their knowledge. We see this a lot in artists or entrepreneurs such as yourself, corey, that you build quietly before launching. I'm not good at being quiet before launching with most people in my life, like I'm letting them know, play by play, I don't know. It just works for my mind, for accountability, but it's hard for me to keep a surprise and a secret.
Speaker 2:I try to keep it a surprise. But you know, what I find very interesting is that telling people sometimes kind of softens the launch, so you can kind of do that easy soft launch before you do the big launch Because you want to get some kind of feedback on what you're doing and how it's going to land.
Speaker 2:You don't want to just jump out there and it just is awful. But can we just dial back this one, say I'm gonna have a real conversation? I know this is real, but what I'm about to say is probably gonna upset some people. But I have to say this, okay, because some people should be on the bench. Some people aren't ready for the game, some people weren't made to play the game. You know they have extra people on the bench for a reason, and you have to be realistic with yourself and with others, because somebody may say well, why don't you ever play? Why are you never in the game? Do you want to play? And we have to say to ourselves I wasn't supposed to be in this one, so I'm supposed to be on the bench for this amount of time, for this game with this team. If you're injured, if you're not properly prepared, if you've been put on a team that's far more advanced than you are, sometimes you have to sit back and watch before you can even be ready to be on the bench.
Speaker 1:I think that's valid. Yeah, I don't think that's hurtful, it's truthful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it hurts to swallow that pill.
Speaker 1:Sure, especially if pride is part of the equation or if ego gets in the way. For sure, right, I don't know, gore, if you've ever played a game prematurely or you're not conditioned for it I have yeah, you want it.
Speaker 2:I'm wondering what the story is behind that oh boy, so um I I used to do a fair deal of lead singing vocal and there was a particular night that I thought I was ready for this song, that I was going to sing in front of about 500 people, and my musician pianist decided that he wanted to change the key two hours before we went up. So my mind is registering this song.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, two hours before, yeah, and now.
Speaker 2:I will go into what I've learned to do if that ever happens again a little bit further down the road. But what happened was I sang this song in the wrong key. The whole song, the whole song and I could not, and and what happened?
Speaker 2:I tried to adjust and it got worse. So I was terrified to try to adjust again and I'm looking at people's faces and I can tell they know I'm sweating profusely. Yeah, I'm, I'm going mad in my brain, just I'm, I can't figure this out and I'm sure, time just went, it just on and on and on and literally.
Speaker 2:So you you know if you have some degree of skill in singing or being a musician Most of the time because people that you're with and I was singing with professionals, so I had an idea that I could carry a note, I could sing pretty decent. After that show, I literally had people telling me you cannot sing a lick. I don't even know why you're up there doing it, and it just wow, it was harsh. And so I literally had to take a break for, oh my gosh, about a year, year and a half, before I really got my confidence back, because it just really wrecked me and I didn't feel comfortable blaming it on the musician because I'm like that's my bad. I should have either said no or knew to how to adjust for that song, so yeah thanks for sharing that.
Speaker 1:That, I can imagine, was horrifying. Just be on the stage, 500 people looking at you like what is he doing up there? And, oh my god, someone please put, if, put us out of our misery. And then people give feedback.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in such a way and I just got as nervous that night. Wow right now because it just all brought all that yeah oh, that's tough.
Speaker 1:well, I'm glad you came back from it, me too, and and that reminds me too of people who put their players in prematurely. True, and our responsibility to one another on that. You don't have someone sitting or preparing for a play and then turn the play up on them, especially someone who takes the bench a lot of the time you know what I mean right.
Speaker 1:So, man, that story you could use for a bunch of different things to learn and expand on. Um, mine wasn't as bad as yours, but you were actually there when this happened. So, for those who don't know, I used to sing a and then I had my thyroidectomy and it weakened my vocal cords, didn't damage it, but weakened it so much that, on top of that, not practicing and shutting down just like completely changed my voice, and shutting down, just like completely changed my voice. So, anyways, we were at church and I used to be well with you, corey, the music director, or you know worship ministry, and I don't know what this dude was thinking and, yeah, I'm talking about the pastor, and I called him dude Because he was taken by the moment and looked at me and said come up here and play and go ahead and sing.
Speaker 1:And I'm terrified looking at him, like I can't sing. I've told this to everyone and I'm not making this up I cannot sing. I remember this day, oh, corey, and he had me get up on the keyboard and he kept prompting and pushing me to sing and when I did, clearly it wasn't good enough for him and he kept like, looking at me, like use your voice. Open up. Get with the program right that.
Speaker 1:That was awful. Yeah, it was awful. I felt so blindsided.
Speaker 2:I felt like that was a moment of bad coaching.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly Okay. So you had mentioned something like the call it moment and being ready for opportunity, and I love what you said, Corey, about make sure you're in the right game, Because I'm not going to sit on the bench to line up to back someone up on singing Not right now, anyways. Right, right, Right. It's more like okay, let me. Maybe I'm more the water girl where I'm behind the scenes and putting the event together, whatever that looks like.
Speaker 2:I don't know what it is about some people and everyone's not like this, but every role is just as important as the next. Sure is, saying that you're the water girl or water boy does not diminish your role, because those players need water, yeah, they need Gatorade, they need their tiles, need water, they need Gatorade, they need their towels. So they're just as important as the people that are actually on the big stage or in the main part of the. And I take my job. You know most people wouldn't think oh man, you feel like you play a very crucial role in your job, but I really do. I know what happens when my job role is not being fulfilled.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So I don't ever look down upon my role. I look like I have to show up and play hard and do what I have to do in order to make this role have a purpose and a meaning. Make this role have a purpose and a meaning.
Speaker 1:And that's a really good mindset for people who are in a support service team. I am too, and I totally get that. So let's say you are in the right game and you're just preparing, you're planning. You're not quite playing all the time, but there is going to be an opportunity for sure. It's when that person calls off sick, or when that person is no longer there or they realize man, we should have had him in the meeting the whole time. Now let's bring him in and let's catch him up. Let's hear what he has to say. Ready, set, go Right. So it's being prepared emotionally, mentally and professionally, knowing that you are going to have the opportunity. I've seen real-life cases, corey, where even during crisis like COVID, or even in the moment that we're in now, that substituting is a real thing. Okay, we're going to sub you in, we're going to have you cover this. You've never done it before, but you can do it.
Speaker 2:I'm seeing that on such a regular basis right now because people are just pivoting, because they have no other. I don't want to say they don't have any other choice, but what I will say is that leadership is very demanding of a higher standard right now, and so they want to see what people can actually put on the table and what they can bring. And if you're just bringing the same old thing or you've been bringing very minimal to the playing field, they want to see what other people have. And so if you've been preparing, here's your chance, here's your opportunity. I think it's just going to get more like that than the other way around.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and I think a skill that's very much needed is creativity and innovation, and we also need to flex as leaders, to actually take the time to listen. Quit trying to run the plays. The plays aren't working. It's time for something new, because we're in new territory. Right, we're facing challenges and crises that were unexpected. The game has changed, players are different, so we're still in the game, but we got to figure it out and it's the team that actually does the work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm going to call another elephant in the room right now. You know, ageism is a real thing and in the workplace, if you're looked at as one of the older people older employees, employees a lot of times you don't get a chance to say what you, what's on your mind. They want to hear the new and cool and hip and innovative creative, as you said and so you got to make space for yourself, you know, or?
Speaker 1:dude, yell out the play from the bench. Just because you're on the bench doesn't mean you have to be quiet again. I've never played ball, but if you sent me on the bench I'd be like cheering the team on, saying what the heck is happening, you know, like I'd probably be like mini coaching from the bench you would be back in the locker room for sure so I've learned.
Speaker 1:I'm just taking in all the concepts that you brought forward, Corey. And so when? Because you mentioned strategy, right, and so do you think that every championship team needs reliable bench players?
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely that's a must. That's a must have because, as you said, someone could be injured, someone could be sick.
Speaker 2:Someone could just sick, someone could just not be on their game. And it happens, you know, we see it every day at work. Someone comes in and you're like what is wrong with so-and-so? Why are they not responding, why are they not talking? And we just don't know. We don't know what's going on in people's lives and how many roadblocks they've had or how many speed bumps they've run over and just said you know what? I can't today, I just can't. So you need someone to be able to step up. But if everybody is used to being on the bench twiddling their thumbs, it's a problem. So that's why we have to be ready as co-workers and team members and all that good stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I can think of people who may not be front and center and we're in that top five playing the game. But, man, the people that are on the bench and doing the behind-the-scenes stuff, they give such great perspective. The behind the scenes stuff, they give such great perspective and I think it's the perfect space to be in to build your self-awareness, be able to get ready to manage yourself and also observe relationships and people, so that way, when you do get in and play, like you said, corey, you're already aware of tactics, you already have your strategies in place, you've seen the players on your team and the other teams and you're just able to flow beautifully, I think. I think just because you're not the MVP does it mean you're not as valuable as the MVP you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I agree A hundred percent.
Speaker 1:All right, so things that I'm taking for me, and if anyone wants to join me, please feel free to do so, but I'm gonna look this week to prepare for my call-up. So whenever I'm off the bench because I think in life everyone has a bench they sit on. You're not playing in everything, and if you are, well, get some rest okay right.
Speaker 1:So I know, example, in the book writing for the Fuzzy Furry Forest, I've been on the bench and you called me up and you said, okay, it's call-up time, we're co-writing, and I was ready because we had already been talking and working together, because we had already been talking and working together and so there are projects right now that I'm working on that. I feel I'm just observing and learning and I'm waiting for the call up and so I'm going to look this week. I had a big call up on Friday. I had to cover someone and I even asked like, what does that look like? I don't even know what your daily you know what you're in the life of your role for the day looks like. But I answered the call. I was like praying the whole time Please don't give me anything urgent. Please don't give me anything I don't know, please don't let me get myself in trouble, right yeah.
Speaker 1:And what I loved is I was just going to hold on. If I don't know, then I'm going to find out about you know on Monday and provide an answer then. But thankfully it was a smooth Friday, so that's what I'm going to do is look for the call up. What's something that you'd like to challenge yourself and our listeners to?
Speaker 2:I'd like to challenge maybe just observing a little bit closer what's going on, paying attention to not only what you're doing, but what your coworkers are doing, what your bosses, managers, supervisors, whatever it may be. Pay just a little bit more close attention, certain muscles within the, in the in the brain, to remember oh, this is where this happens and this is where this person says this or says that. And the reason why I'm being so vague is because I don't know what it is that you do in your everyday task. I know what it is that I do, so I'm very much so aware that, um, when those moments arise that you can step up to the plate and play that position and help someone out, it's better when you're able to do it than when you're not able to do it.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that. You know, corey, last week the power of affirmations came my way again. You know how you practice something for a while you're like I'm looking for something new, maybe something a little different, but affirmations came up. I was like I'm all about it, so let me close with some and then we'll see where we go. But, um, I may be out of on the bench, but I'm not out the game, right?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:There's that. I'm learning, growing and getting stronger, even behind the scenes. Right. And the last one is when my time comes, I'll be ready to shine.
Speaker 2:That's really good, jen, I like that. I'm going to just say this about it's not an affirmation. I'm going to just say this about it's not an affirmation but I just always tell my leader and I'm being serious I tell my leader put me in coach, I'm ready to play. That way. He knows if I need someone I can call on.
Speaker 1:Corey, that's good. Oh, that reminds me of one of the leaders I worked with. You know we always hear oh, make sure that as a leader, you're available and willing. She took, she elevated it and said willing and wanting. Let your coach know that you're willing and you're wanting this.
Speaker 2:You have to, because if you don't, he's looking for, he or she is looking for the one that is.
Speaker 1:That's right. So if anyone in my life is my coach in some aspect, I'm willing and wanting. I don't know if I like the way that that did sound weird. Anyhow, cory, thanks for taking us through this. I feel so tapped into march madness and and the game of basketball and life Indeed, well, you know us. To take the elevator, we say look up and let's elevate, elevate. That was 30 minutes to the T. Wow, play the game well.
